Monday, May 14, 2007
i got 11.25minutes for my 2.4, and i can finally achieve a gold for napfa in ri. but now that its in sight, the ephemeral joy of getting the gold gradually faded away. afterall, its just another gold. how many golds must we get till we're finally satisfied? maybe this blind pursuit will never end...itll just go on forever, until we finally vanish from this world, into one we believe we would go to.
somehow i feel so. empty. its not much of a sad feeling as it is a lonely one. i keep thinking im missing something inside me; maybe it wasnt there to begin with. there's not much to talk about, and there's not much i understand about it, but this feeling
hurts.
i could just sleep it away...or i could get used to it. or perhaps find something else to focus on. but escaping is never a solution. is it? if we think it away, maybe itll just dissipate. its just our imagination, our own mindless hallucination. or is this for real..?
so many things go through my head, but i cant feel very much right now. is it trauma? is it boredom? is it stress? i wish i could just lean on something i can fully place my trust upon, and find rest.
wishing;
10:29 PM
~~~
'To touch your hand...'
'To hear your voice...'
'To see your smiling face.'
~~~
~Wishlist~
& omg i really wanna type stuff in this wishlist so that people can get me stuff that i want BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO GET GAH
~Me~
Jorel.Chanky.Pory.Kwoks
150791;
RI4P07;
kwyred
RafflesJazzChorale