I have loved many things.
Like the clouds in the scorching Summer heat,
and rain that freezes the skin;
The scent of cool Autumn breezes,
and the gentle softness of the earth during Spring;
The cosiness of a convenience store at the dead of night;
The slight chill in the air after school;
The smell of the blackboard duster;
The rawr of a faraway truck,
echoing deep in the night...
And I wanted us to experience them together, always.
Click on the wings at the side to navi!^^
Friday, February 27, 2009
today is was really amazing i'm so super grateful for guanyishuyifandennis(SEXBOMBS HAHA)danieljoel for singing with us i think they're just amazing and wonderful juniors and i hope they don't read this or their ego will just swell up like erm. blown balloons. :D YES STAND BY ME WAS QUITE NICE EVEN THOUGH WE TOTALLY IMPROMPTU-ED IT I THINK THE INTRO IS SUPER COOL AND SUPER AMAZINGGG AHHH GUAN YOU ROCK (: i guess it's really sad when our small group is just, 5 people? there's barely enough for harmonies la D: but we still managed to pull off i'm a believer! (even though av screwedup bigtime pfft) (: i guess it's really comforting when there are people shouting your name as you perform, makes the stage a more human place; makes it more real and close to your heart mm.
YOU. even though you probably haven't found my blog (HAHA) cheer up k life isn't ALL that bad :DD
FRIDAY, 13 March 2009 (LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!) 7:30 p.m. RJC LT1
TICKETS ARE PRICED AT $5 EACH PLEASE APPROACH ANYONE FROM CHORALE (MEMEME!) FOR THEM OKAY :DD
wishing; 10:11 PM
HAHAHAHA I WENT TO ST NICKS TODAY WITH JEAN KAILE LOU YIFAN AND I THINK THE CAMPUS IS REALLY QUITE NICE AND QUIET(: BUT ORANGEBOWL ISN'T THAT AMAZINGLY NICE WHOOPS :/ OHH THE SCENERY IS NICE TOO (HAHAHAHAA KAILE READ: SONIA). I THINK MS LIM COULD BE QUITE A WONDERFUL CONDUCTOR, I THINK SHE'S COOL AND NICE AND SOMEHOW SHE HAS TOH-MANNERISMS, MAYBE IT'S A CONDUCTOR THING D: OHOH AND THE JUNIORS THERE ARE SUPER ADORABLE;
TODAY WAS A NICE DAY :DD mm i guess change can be good sometimes; makes you cherish, stuff. (:
wishing; 9:45 PM
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Dear Jorel,
Being utterly Unhappy about all the uncontrollable events that are occuring all around your life is obviously just making your circumstances more miserable, probably much more than reality makes it out to be (even though THEY just happened AGAIN, like a few minutes ago).
So, from the kindness of my soul, I sincerely beseech you to SNAP OUT OF THIS and REVERT BACK to whatever retarded/whiney/girly/shallow self you originally were, before your emotional streaks of Angst and Annoyance and started streaming in. I preferred you that way (and i guess other people did as well). It's nice and cognitive to introspect sporadically, but when emotions get involved (and this usually means people get involved as well), you'll know that it's time to move on.
Apathy's the way to go, (well just for now).
Yours schizophrenically, Kwoks.
P.S. and no, this isn't because it's THAT TIME OF THE MONTH eww. D: D: D: P.P.S. 'I guess we'll have to be confident that everything will work out fine.'
wishing; 11:21 PM
Monday, February 23, 2009
last night i dreamt that i didn't have a blazer to wear for concert so i couldn't perform, and i was so scared because it would mean i'd never have a chance to perform for chorale. and we were performing at like some dark esplanade-esque place but the seats were super high, as in the angle of elevation was really high so it was almost like a wall. the floor was carpeted and dark blue and i was just panicking and finding a blazer just before the concert began (yeah, the pre-concert lasted for like 4 hours). i'm so unsure of what happened in the end, but i woke up at around 4am and wrote a note in my phone, 'Get blazer for perf!!! Before it's too late.'
i guess it's really just not blazers; alot of things should/shouldn't be done before it's too late, but then again, forget regret.
(i choose to blame the antihistamines i've been taking for my quite sacrifying nightmare T_T)
wishing; 10:31 PM
Saturday, February 21, 2009
omgomg i've totally lost my voice already it sound super manly, but i want my voice backkk i can only sing lowlow F to low E T_T AND THERE IS NO MORE FALSETTO AT ALL OMG GRAWRARHGHRHGH D:
Despite this really really unfortunate incident (which was probably caused by stupid late-night calls, HMM), I loved today's prac more than any other prac I've ever had, even in RV.
When you're singing, you end up being so conscious about how you sound: whether you're on pitch, if your tone is tall enough/ringing/blending etc, and sometimes you'll hear your sectionmates and hear the sound of your section. It becomes overtly technical; you're undoubtedly trying to produce good music, but you're not appreciating it ):
Being sick seriously rocks, especially when you get to sit behind and listen to an amazing choir produce really really beautiful sounds. I knew I Thank You's a really nice song, but i never really felt like catharsis from it before today D:
omg i give up trying to type properly/coherently
i thank you is really damn nice i got goosebumps for the whole duration that toh went through the song (which was like half hour ++)! IT IS REALLY AMAZING, i never knew chords could be so wonderful. (omg i think i'm sounding like some choralegeekbutlikewhateverrr) hahahaha i got abit crazy during i thank you that i started drawing hearts at the chords that i liked (this kinda means my whole score's full of hearts gahh) i ESPECIALLY LIKE THE SOTTOVOCE PART (sounds like bohemian rhapsody but maybe i'm just abit insane now haha) AND THE UNIMAGINABLEYOUS AND THE OPENEDS AND OFTHEGAYGREATTHINGS(MALE VOICE PART AHH) AND WI-I-INGS AND NOWTHEEARS AND INFINITE AND OMGOMG ALL 3 OF LOUISA'S SOLOES AHHH THE INFINITE AND THE ITHANKYOUGOD AND THE UNIMAGINABLEYOU HER VOICE IS SO NICE IT SPARKLES ABOVE THE WHOLE CHOIR'S (AND I HOPE SHE DOESN'T READ THIS HAHA OMG SO MALU EVEN IF YOU READ THIS DON'T TELL ME YOU DID OKAY);
I THANK YOU GOD FOR MOST THIS AMAZING SONG <3 i thought lux was already amazing, but this is freaking imbaaa whitacre's some genius to come up with all these chords that seem to all fall into the place of the song sooo well.
ohh and this like swelling of emotions spilled over to with a little help also (omg i don't know why, i didn't really like the song xD) IAN'S VOICE IS SO NICE i think he should always be a soloist for any pop song(: i still had goosebumps during with a little help la D: D: D: my sparse armhairs(or furs) were like perma-standing, and it wasn't because of the aircon because i was wearing jacket tooo loh! (oh and i think wearing a jacket+ri pe shorts should be considered the most IN fashion HAHA) ya and i could vaguely tell that we were out of tune already, and i think it's amazing how toh, in the so much more musically pleasing position of being in front of the choir, is able to just focus on the technical aspects of it and not be so overwhelmed by the sound. hahahhaaa omg fionamich i guess i finally know why you all fangirl choirsounds so much xDD
mmm part of me wishes to like remain sick and sit at the back and listen to the sound forever, but the magic will probably fade away with familiarity of it:/ BUT i want to get well asap so i can sing tooo! i hope i can love the sound as much as when i just sit behind. I WILL WORK HARD TO PWNZZ MY PITCHING/TONE/SINGING (:
ohh and josephgeofroyce came back to visit yay they're amazing and they look more buff lol but still damn faggy omg D: hahahaa alot of things i really would type here, but it'll be so repetitive and just for me to read, but i already know it in my heart so it's okay :D TAKE CARE IN NS DON'T GET SODOMISED/RAPED/ASSRAPED(OOPS THAT'S SODOMISED RIGHT) (:
and i think toh bought a new poloshirt i've never seen him wear orange/striped/striped orange poloshirt hahahhaa why do i observe these kind of stuff i never use too loh D:
ohh jean go try harder and sell more tickets to SOME PEOPLE k!!! :D i wanna go stnicks louuu let me! ): ): ):
OKAY THIS POST SHOULD END SOON LIKE NOW IT'S DAMN LONG ALREADY (:
wishing; 8:24 PM
Sunday, February 15, 2009
yay i think camp was really wonderful in the end despite like the little hiccups here and there(: and j1s are really amazinggg, even more so after knowing all those who just joined; they're just so nice.
GROUP 3 (TOTOCHAN/TOFU/TOUTONG) PWNZZ vivien linan huiyi (pfft you lousy only come for a while!) dennis fionalee samantha anastasia kahbian!!! (Y)
i loved it most when kelson nwei died from toh-berculosis. <3
MUST RMB TO EDIT POST i shall wait for people to upload pics on facebook before koping them and dumping them on this post (argh i always say this but i never really get about doing it in the end, I WILL DO IT THIS TIME :DD)
omgomg toh found out that my waistsize is 24! D: (i bet he's jealous too HAHA) actually makes me wonder what else he knows as well. ><
~
thankyou fionalee for being there when i was like at my worst emotional state (: and you dettolgirl for staying with me for quite long until we got owned by the security guard (again) oops D:
i hate it when words lack the ability to convey what you really wanna say. :/
~
HAHAHHAHAHA OMG VIC AND JEAN HAVE THE SAME CHINESE NAMEEE! :DD
~
thank you so much, you take care k (:
~ (yes, it ends here.)
i should stop using squiggly signs to paragraph my posts, it really doesn't help me organise my thoughts especially if i really need to write essays D: D: D:
wishing; 4:38 PM
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
omg i didn't know i sang like a drunkard, it's probably because i totally just woke up backstage before my perf :/ anyway it fits the song since they're like druggies D:
but anyway more importantly OMG THANKS FOR SHOUTING SO MANY TIMES/SO LOUDLY/SO MANY NAMES JORELKWOKSPONYO WTF (Y)
and thankyou mich for your letter+lily! :DD
here's feeling good by muse enjoy.
lol at 1:34!!! xD
wishing; 10:54 PM
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
a really important post to just signpost my life up till now
i realise my posts nowadays are less narrative/contentful and i don't like it, because it means i'm actually thinking when i'm blogging now. (as usual i shall use squiggles again, because my paragraphing sucks and squiggles helps to jump from one idea to the other)
~
i don't like it when feelings are super mixed (tired but, energetic? D:) and you just made it worse, especially when i just opened my gmail to send my ki proposal (because hotmail, just, sucks.) and i saw your email from quite long ago (i think i would never have seen it if i didn't have to do my ki oops). i feel like i'm cheating, and i feel so cheated, but i guess that's how you feel too.
but life goes on, what are we gonna do mm?
~
YOU. it's only been a very short while, but we're in such a messed up state, and it's hard to believe/forget what happened at the start of the week. i'm quite glad whatever happened, but it just leads to so many complications that i really can't grasp. moreover, you're so busy with your life now, and i'm so busy with mine (actually i'm quite free now because i FINALLY FINISHED MY DAMNED KI PROPOSAL, AND YOU REALISE THE KI PROPOSAL IS A RECURRING MOTIF IN THIS WHOLE POST TODAY GRAWR, but i digress.) so it feels like we're drifting apart like uh nobody's business since our relationship's so hasty, omg okay whatever. yeah i miss (talking to) you, but we're (everybody around me too) moving so fast i can barely catch up with you (or myself, for that matter).
rawrr i guess we'll just hover for now.
~
i really wish you'd take care of yourself and not do such ridiculous things and make me worried and angry and always escape from the things you hate to talk about but are important to sort out or else your life will just be like that and even though you enjoy it i just don't want you to pursue this kind of life. it's wrong of me to impose whatever standards/howtoliveyourlife on you, but i guess it's because i just wanna care. today you made me quite asdfghjkl but i bet you don't know why. okay i guess it's not just you, just the accretion of too much rubbish going on in my life, that just refuses to fade away.
maybe you're right; if we try vv hard enough, we could actually wish memories away.
~
it's amazing how all the 'you's in the different squiggle segments refer to different people.
my life wins, seriously.
~
since we're on the topic of EMO, yay yay got new emo song go listen k. :DD
Ash Like Snow by Brilliant Green
sora akaku someru kokutan no yami nomikomareta hoshikuzu-tachi hakanaku furitsumoru hai no yuki
The sky is dyed red by the ebony darkness, And the distant stardust swallowed up, In this transient moment as the snowing ashes fall.
mitsumeta nageki no mado I never dreamed kooritsuku there... I come for you
I watched it through the window of grief. I never dreamed I stand frozen. there... I come for you.
omoi wa sekibaku no yozora ni maiagari kudaketa kono sekai ga katachi wo kaeru tabi ni mamoritai mono wo kowashite shimatteitan da
My hopes were alone in the desolate night sky, They soared high until they were crushed. Each time the world changes shape, The things I want to protect, I end up breaking them.
kokoro ni hishimeku haitoku no yami kimi no koe ga masui no youni tsumetaku kankaku wo ubatteku
Oh, the sinful darkness tugging at my heartstrings, Your voice is like anaesthesia, Coldly, it robs me of my senses.
mujun wo oikakete mo owaranai naze boku wa tatakau no?
No matter how we pursue our differences, It never ends. Why do I have to fight?
tatoeba hikari ga kieusete kono hoshi ga ochite mo wasurenai yo sono chiisana negai ga aru beki basho eto michibiku
Even if the light is extinguished, Even if this earth disintegrates, I won't ever forget: That tiny wish, It will guide us to our ideal place.
there I come for you yeah Ash Like Snow is falling down from your sky Ash Like Snow Let me hear... why I have to fight?
there I come for you yeah Ash Like Snow is falling down from your sky Ash Like Snow Let me hear... why I have to fight?
kono omoi wa sekibaku no yozora ni maiagari kudaketa yami wo hiraku eikou to hikikae ni mamoru beki mono wo ushinatte kita (It's falling from your sky) munashisugiru (Baby I come for you)
My hopes were alone in the desolate night sky, They soared high until they were crushed. In exchange for glory that triumphs over darkness, I have given up many things I sought to protect. (It's falling from your sky) This is too futile. (Baby I come for you)
kudakechitta kakera ni kizutsuku tabi tozasareta boku no kokoro wa tsuyoku naru koto wo erande koko made kitan da
Every time the scattered broken pieces cut me, Deep down in my closed heart, I choose to grow stronger. And I came this far.
wishing; 8:19 PM
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
HAHAHHAHAHAA i know how to get rid of my horn already!!! :DD but i guess i'll miss it. like how i'll miss alot alot of other things, miss them terribly, even though life beckons me to forget. omgomgomg if i get pissed with my flathair i could probably make it all stand up again, but i guess this re-asdf-able nature of things does't neccessarily apply to everything in my life.
i got myself out of one trouble, and now i'm in another one, but i don't think it's as deep. but oh well there's another even deeper screwy abyss of dunnoworrysomethingum that i can't say because it sounds too soapoperatic nonsense to be treated as how people would treat it in real life and not in drama serials :/
okay whatever if i'm typing such long run-on lines i probably should be sleeping soon.
~
I THINK WHEN THE SECURITY GUARD OWNED US IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY (: but take care ya i hope you get a good sleep.
:D
wishing; 11:55 PM
Sunday, February 01, 2009
YAY OMG OMG I GOT NEW PANTS GEN YOU ROCK :D i think it's damn pretty good-looking! (: when i am free i shall post the pic (or should i? :/) i think i wanna buy moreeee like the black or the green polo!!! :DD
~
argh i wanted to type something but my memories fail me grawr (blame ki too zzz)
[edit] HAHAHAHA I REMEMBER NOWW GEN I TELL YOU OKAY M DIDN'T COME, A'S HERE AND J MANAGED TO COME TOO YAY HAPPY!! :DD [/edit]
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omg su-ann is super funny with all her retarded pickup lines i wish she would come visit vict more often HAHA (:
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yay j3s came back yesterday i hope more come back next i miss them all D:
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j1s have fun at orientation tmr okay! (:
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aiyah even vincom2 thinks you're being emo stop emo-ing okay.
~
i love separating my thoughts using squiggly lines. <3
wishing; 2:41 PM
~~~
'To touch your hand...'
'To hear your voice...'
'To see your smiling face.'
~~~
~Wishlist~
& omg i really wanna type stuff in this wishlist so that people can get me stuff that i want BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO GET GAH
