I have loved many things.
Like the clouds in the scorching Summer heat,
and rain that freezes the skin;
The scent of cool Autumn breezes,
and the gentle softness of the earth during Spring;
The cosiness of a convenience store at the dead of night;
The slight chill in the air after school;
The smell of the blackboard duster;
The rawr of a faraway truck,
echoing deep in the night...
And I wanted us to experience them together, always.
Click on the wings at the side to navi!^^
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
a really important post to just signpost my life up till now
i realise my posts nowadays are less narrative/contentful and i don't like it, because it means i'm actually thinking when i'm blogging now. (as usual i shall use squiggles again, because my paragraphing sucks and squiggles helps to jump from one idea to the other)
~
i don't like it when feelings are super mixed (tired but, energetic? D:) and you just made it worse, especially when i just opened my gmail to send my ki proposal (because hotmail, just, sucks.) and i saw your email from quite long ago (i think i would never have seen it if i didn't have to do my ki oops). i feel like i'm cheating, and i feel so cheated, but i guess that's how you feel too.
but life goes on, what are we gonna do mm?
~
YOU. it's only been a very short while, but we're in such a messed up state, and it's hard to believe/forget what happened at the start of the week. i'm quite glad whatever happened, but it just leads to so many complications that i really can't grasp. moreover, you're so busy with your life now, and i'm so busy with mine (actually i'm quite free now because i FINALLY FINISHED MY DAMNED KI PROPOSAL, AND YOU REALISE THE KI PROPOSAL IS A RECURRING MOTIF IN THIS WHOLE POST TODAY GRAWR, but i digress.) so it feels like we're drifting apart like uh nobody's business since our relationship's so hasty, omg okay whatever. yeah i miss (talking to) you, but we're (everybody around me too) moving so fast i can barely catch up with you (or myself, for that matter).
rawrr i guess we'll just hover for now.
~
i really wish you'd take care of yourself and not do such ridiculous things and make me worried and angry and always escape from the things you hate to talk about but are important to sort out or else your life will just be like that and even though you enjoy it i just don't want you to pursue this kind of life. it's wrong of me to impose whatever standards/howtoliveyourlife on you, but i guess it's because i just wanna care. today you made me quite asdfghjkl but i bet you don't know why. okay i guess it's not just you, just the accretion of too much rubbish going on in my life, that just refuses to fade away.
maybe you're right; if we try vv hard enough, we could actually wish memories away.
~
it's amazing how all the 'you's in the different squiggle segments refer to different people.
my life wins, seriously.
~
since we're on the topic of EMO, yay yay got new emo song go listen k. :DD
Ash Like Snow by Brilliant Green
sora akaku someru kokutan no yami nomikomareta hoshikuzu-tachi hakanaku furitsumoru hai no yuki
The sky is dyed red by the ebony darkness, And the distant stardust swallowed up, In this transient moment as the snowing ashes fall.
mitsumeta nageki no mado I never dreamed kooritsuku there... I come for you
I watched it through the window of grief. I never dreamed I stand frozen. there... I come for you.
omoi wa sekibaku no yozora ni maiagari kudaketa kono sekai ga katachi wo kaeru tabi ni mamoritai mono wo kowashite shimatteitan da
My hopes were alone in the desolate night sky, They soared high until they were crushed. Each time the world changes shape, The things I want to protect, I end up breaking them.
kokoro ni hishimeku haitoku no yami kimi no koe ga masui no youni tsumetaku kankaku wo ubatteku
Oh, the sinful darkness tugging at my heartstrings, Your voice is like anaesthesia, Coldly, it robs me of my senses.
mujun wo oikakete mo owaranai naze boku wa tatakau no?
No matter how we pursue our differences, It never ends. Why do I have to fight?
tatoeba hikari ga kieusete kono hoshi ga ochite mo wasurenai yo sono chiisana negai ga aru beki basho eto michibiku
Even if the light is extinguished, Even if this earth disintegrates, I won't ever forget: That tiny wish, It will guide us to our ideal place.
there I come for you yeah Ash Like Snow is falling down from your sky Ash Like Snow Let me hear... why I have to fight?
there I come for you yeah Ash Like Snow is falling down from your sky Ash Like Snow Let me hear... why I have to fight?
kono omoi wa sekibaku no yozora ni maiagari kudaketa yami wo hiraku eikou to hikikae ni mamoru beki mono wo ushinatte kita (It's falling from your sky) munashisugiru (Baby I come for you)
My hopes were alone in the desolate night sky, They soared high until they were crushed. In exchange for glory that triumphs over darkness, I have given up many things I sought to protect. (It's falling from your sky) This is too futile. (Baby I come for you)
kudakechitta kakera ni kizutsuku tabi tozasareta boku no kokoro wa tsuyoku naru koto wo erande koko made kitan da
Every time the scattered broken pieces cut me, Deep down in my closed heart, I choose to grow stronger. And I came this far.
wishing; 8:19 PM
~~~
'To touch your hand...'
'To hear your voice...'
'To see your smiling face.'
~~~
~Wishlist~
& omg i really wanna type stuff in this wishlist so that people can get me stuff that i want BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO GET GAH
