fatedwings~*

`Empyreal hopes `Ethereal dreams

I have loved many things.
Like the clouds in the scorching Summer heat,
and rain that freezes the skin;
The scent of cool Autumn breezes,
and the gentle softness of the earth during Spring;
The cosiness of a convenience store at the dead of night;
The slight chill in the air after school;
The smell of the blackboard duster;
The rawr of a faraway truck,
echoing deep in the night...

And I wanted us to experience them together, always.

Click on the wings at the side to navi!^^

Thursday, May 28, 2009

____ ___ ____ __ _____ __?
the dust has only just begun to form
crop circles in the carpet

sinking feeling.

haha life damn tough

wishing;
11:32 PM

Sunday, May 24, 2009

YAY I LOVE MY NEW NOTEBOOK IT LOOKS SO YUMMY I COULD GOBBLE IT UP MMMMM <3

now i can finally actually do work without getting distracted every few minutes cos my desktop's just beside the tv in the hall!
but there is something i hate and resent and really gets me on my nerves: my notebook's got a DAAMN SUCK graphics card (actually, i don't even think it has a graphics card, no nvdia for the lose T_T) so i can't play any games AT ALL. because even flash games like N lags, and everyone knows how much lag affects N, so ya. =.= but i guess it's good so that i'll never be distracted even though i would want to, so this means i'd be forever on task yay (Y)

OH OH I'VE GOT LELOUCH SEASON 1 AND 2 ON MY NOTEBOOK YAY.
i think i shall watch it WHEN I'M FREE THIS WEDNESDAY AT 2PM :DD

tsk, jorel, you're such an ass. (:

wishing;
10:46 PM

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

~~haha, my phone feels kinda empty without your texts~~

take care ya, even when nothing's gonna be the same again.
~
on a brighter note, closing this really huge 2499 (wow, the wonders of free unlimited) door has really really made me realise that i've so many wonderful people around me that i've just taken for granted;
i'm just so so blessed that friends are EVERYWHERE and my fears of loneliness are fleeting and unfounded(:

oh lol fiona and dennis went to watch the chinese drama play thing, i feel kinda bad not supporting mr tham, oops :/

GENERVEEFFF I HOPE YOU SURVIVED YOUR LV JOB TODAY!!!
AND AND SEND ME YOUR MOVIE LIST SOON! :DD

wishing;
7:28 PM

Saturday, May 16, 2009

“somewhere i have never traveled”
e.e. cummings

somewhere i have never traveled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

wishing;
10:11 PM

Thursday, May 14, 2009

daaamn i almost wasted $10 of my ticket for vjc cos i kinda fell asleep after intermission and i missed mate saule): ): ):

yeah anyway despite like everything i've heard, i think vj's really really good (from what i consciously+subconsciously heard haha) but their repertoire's like super diff from our kinds.

ANYWAY NAPFA WAS SO SDJKFHSKJADH. i totally thought running barefooted would be faster cos like you'll have less weight weighing you down (but yeah it's quite true), but there was bloody construction and debris scattered all along the track. i swear, they threw the debris there on PURPOSE because they've some secret agenda again people running barefooted so that they'll trip and get hurt on purpose (EVERY SINGLE ROUND OMG), BECAUSE HOW CAN DEBRIS FLY ALL THE WAY FROM THE SIDE OF THE TRACK TO THE FIRST LANE!!?!!?!!!! T_T

but whatever it is i got my gold so yay :D
(+81297389217 blisters on my feet now, oww)

mm yeah anyway thanks for going to the concert with me, i really appreciate it ya. (even though i knew like, 0% of the people there, which NEVER happens, gah)

~
goodnightgoodnight

wishing;
11:54 PM

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Did you ever talk to God above?

The past ~~few~~ many days/weeks/month have been so subliminally trying and it's as if i'm trying to survive on my own; on my own emotions, my own thoughts, my own faith. Well, it's not as if i've depended on God so much, but recently, more than ever, my life is revolving around me. I'd usually know in my heart that 'haha God's there, that's why everything's gonna be alright eventually mm', but everything that happened seemed too...human. It's ugly and materialistic and carnal (okay not really carnal that's too sex-y eww); it's satanic.
(note: satanic doesn't have to always mean worshipping satan btw, it's more of self-worship/indulgence so yeah, don't have creepy gory images of ~~diable, diablots, diablotins~~ flying devil, devilkins etcetc. popping up in your heads GAH!!! D: D: D:)
and i don't like it, this stifling atmosphere of sin. But yeah it's over, it really really is. Now, whatever emotional/human struggles i'll submit to Him because i know He'll provide for me no matter what. It's really hard surrendering EVERYTHING, but you've been a good wake-up call (even though i hate seeing you drift). We can't fake our faith, like oh-i'm-so-religious-God-look-at-me-flailing-my-arms-at-you (eee pharisee HAHA). Because God sees through all of that; He looks past everything, and looks STRAIGHT INTO YOUR HEART.

that's why i'll set my heart straight this time!
(gosh, sorry God, i'm late by 13 months, but it'll be good, i promise.)

mm yeah,
it's gonna be a new path for me(:

wishing;
7:43 PM

Monday, May 11, 2009

Jesus Christ our Savior who is the propitiation, the satisfaction if you would, for our sins, and not just for our sins, but for the sins of the whole world. The blood of Jesus Christ flowed from seven places. The first place He bleed from, the blood that poured from His head that day. The blood from the thorns in His skull cleanse you from thoughts, the blood that was on His face He has covered the things that you may not want to face up to because of what you've seen or heard. Know this, the blood flowed for you.

"Yeah, but Jon, you just don't know I've backed away from the Lord, I've turned my back on him." Well they took a flagellum and they beat His back and blood flowed from His back, it reduced to hamburger meat that day, His back was beaten so brutally. And if you've turned your back on Him and walked away from Him, know this, the blood, the blood that poured from His back, cleanses you sprinkles you.

"Yeah but Jon, you just don't know what I've done with these hands." Those hands were pierced, those hands were pinned to the tree, spikes driven through those hands where He bled to cleanse you and cleanse me from the stuff that we've handled that we ought not to have handled, the stuff that we've done that we ought not to have done. Hey, understand, the blood flowed from His hand.

"Yeah but it's stuff that's inside of me Jon, It's just things that I feel in my gut, I have bitterness towards them, and I'm angry with her." Jesus wants you to know that blood flowed from His side when they thrust th at spear into Him when He hung on the cross.

"Feet that walked where I ought not to have walked." Blood flowed from His feet too, when the spike pinned Him through the feet, to the cross of calvary.

And now I realize things that I can't face up to, thoughts that I've had that are not right, not good, not true, bitterness inside of me, stuff I've touched that I ought not to touch, places I've gone where I ought not to have walked. And I look and I realize the seven-fold flowing of the blood of Christ cleanses me in every area from all sin and I'm free, and I'm forgiven, by the blood.

What can wash away my sin, nothing but the blood of Jesus. Seven times perfection, Seven places, that's what He went through, for me and for you.

wishing;
11:49 PM

Friday, May 08, 2009

presenting,
nox aurumque by eric whitacre.

THANK YOU GENEVIEVE ANG! <333
THIS SONG IS SO WONDERFUL, IT BREAKS MY HEART TEN TIMES OVER.
THE SOP DISSONANCE IS SO AMAZING I COULD JUST DIE LISTENING TO THIS.

whitacre's some genius, seriously.
This is so much more than i could ever ask for,
~~it's more than enough closure for me.~~
i don't need closure anymore, 'cause we'll always be part of chorale right! :DDD

Especially from 3:55 to 4:50!
Why does whitacre compose such CATHARTIC songs; every chord just breaks SOMETHING in my heart): it's so creepy and dark and looming in such a epic and grand and wonderfully whitacre way, my skin's covered with goosebumps every time i hear this (yeah it's on loop haha) and it just makes you wanna EXPLODE but you just CAN'T, because whitacre's genius to keep the magic in you like that.

TODAY I LEARNT THAT GETTING THE CHORD RESOLVED IS SO IMPORTANT, OR ELSE ONE COULD REALLY REALLY DIE OF A WHITEACRE-CHORD HEART ATTACK!!! BECAUSE THE WHITACRE CHORD IS JUST SO MAGICAL!!! IT CONSUMES YOU FROM WITHIN UNTIL YOU EVENTUALLY FAINT FROM UTTER AWE.

ahh ahh i love it when the sops stack on top of each other when they're ascending IT'S JUST SO INCREDIBLE!!!! D: D: D:

hahhahaa if ever j1s, j2s, and j3s could come together to perform this song,
IT WOULD JUST BE SO AMAZING I WOULD GLADLY DIE THERE AND THEN AHH.

~

NOX AURUMQUE

Gold,
Tarnished and dark,
Singing of night,
Singing of death,
Singing itself to sleep.
And an angel dreams of sunrise,
And war.

Tears of the ages.
O shield!
O gilded blade!
You are too heavy to carry,
Too heavy for flight.

Gold,
Tarnished and weary,
Awaken!
Melt from weapon to wing!
Let us soar again,
High above this wall;
Angels reborn and rejoicing with wings made
Of dawn,
Of gold,
Of dream.

Gold,
Singing of wings,
Singing of shadows.

wishing;
8:44 PM

Monday, May 04, 2009

GOLD.

ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT WE SING FOR THE JOY OF MUSIC-MAKING; EVERYTHING ELSE PALES IN COMPARISON.

and everytime i listen to ithankyougod, i'll just remember the moments, the subtle and magical moments we had on stage; i will miss this so much. I've got so much memories held within the walls of VCH, in the soundcheckroom, the changingrooms, the smallrooms that had sofas where we played bridge, the seats,

and the stage.

now, everything's coming to an end, and i guess closure won't come easily. in the end, it's really the journey, that i would cherish most in the end. mm, it's really a wake-up call, that honours is not only what we're working for; as toh said, if we didn't mature as individuals and still got our honours without effort, we wouldn't feel happy either.

our journey together matters so much, and this is something that not even central judging can measure. and i would NEVER trade this for anything, ever.

FORGET REGRET, WE'VE DONE OUR BEST.

-
ithankyougodformostthisamazingday.

wishing;
8:37 PM

Sunday, May 03, 2009

The Rainbow Connection

'whoa yeah yeah, i just DIG songs about rainbows!' HAHAHAAHAHA
i love the frog chorus (1:50!) ahh they're so cute please.

i'm real glad i chose this song, it's just so amazing and there's so much to reminesce every time i listen to it, and now there's more meaning to it mm(:

~

jazz concert's over(it was amazing, THANKS FOR THE FLOWERS+FLOWERPLUSHIE+CHOCLATES+SHAHAN/NAT'S PINEAPPLE!^^), and syf's in 2 days time;
slowly, everything's gonna end. I don't know, i just don't like this uncertainty that's looming ahead and i'm just shrouded in a cloud of blur and driftyfloaty ungroundedness.

i really really wanna write notes for all of you, but it's just so hard to get down to writing them. and then again, half the time i wouldn't know what to say because goodbyes are hard like that.

ohwells i'll get down to typing more tomorrow/nostalgia's such a lovely feeling no words can describe what i feel now.
it's terrible when you know that whatever's happening now will be just fade away into memories in no time, no time at all (2 days, 2 days!), and there's nothing you can do to to slow time down, much less keep forever now. oh, how i wish time could just come to a standstill, and everything would stay status quo FOREVER.

it's hard to love you, [insert] all of you, [/insert] ya know?

~

yeah ehh don't be offended or disappointed by her or whatever k, if you're willing to salvage the relationship, i guess you gotta talk to her! IT'LL ONLY GET BETTER OKAY!!!!:DD

wishing;
8:38 PM